It’s often hard to give something up once you have your heart set on it. The post-grad life is full of so much confusion and emotions, so finding out that you just might not be a good fit for a position can be very difficult. It’s sometimes not easy to get over something overnight, no matter how attached you were to it. What makes things exponentially worse is all of the other people around you getting their dream jobs.
No matter the circumstance, that position that you’ve labeled your ‘dream job’ might not actually be ‘the one’. It’s hard to comprehend, but could not getting that job be setting you up for something so much better? I firmly believe that things happen in your life for a specific reason. I think that every little thing can build up to something so much more. It’s hard to think this way, but not getting that dream job might just be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.
If you’ve been a part of my life recently, I’m sure you know exactly what I might be referring to. I didn’t get the job that I was hoping for, but that doesn’t mean that it’s going to get me down. It’s tough, but you have to try to be an optimist in this situation. I’ve said it all along through the process that if it was meant to be, it would be. When things seem to be falling into place perfectly and it doesn’t work out in the end, that absolutely means that there is something better on the horizon. That perfect thing might not happen immediately, but it sure is coming.
How can you deal with rejection?
Coming to terms with rejection is not something that is easy. No matter how invested you are, any sort of rejection is going to be hard to deal with in one way or another. Some people cope differently, but there are some universal things that I think that can help anyone dealing with this.
Don’t let other people’s opinions influence you
The hardest part throughout the entire process that I went through was thinking about what everyone else would think. I never really worried about myself not getting the job. I was fine with admitting that I would be able to move on. The debilitating part was thinking about what people would say when I didn’t get it. I don’t want to say that anyone ever put pressure on me, per say. But I definitely felt almost over-supported. I know that sounds crazy but when word gets out and so many people have so much confidence in you, when you don’t get the job, all you can think about is whether people might question your actual reputation.
Looking back on it, I wish that I hadn’t put so much pressure on myself just by thinking about other people. I know that no one’s intention was to put pressure on me, but it just happened by default. I don’t think people realize how sometimes support can do the opposite of what the intention is.
Stop blaming yourself
If you don’t get the position that you were aiming for, it’s not a direct attack on your character. In many different cases, you’re just as qualified as all of the other candidates. Getting jobs can be so very competitive so it’s impossible to blame yourself when you don’t get the job. Don’t blame yourself because chances are it had nothing to do with you personally. It’s how life is, so don’t get discouraged. Stop assessing all of your personal qualities and dwelling on the negative.
I graduated college in three years while working two jobs the entire time. I should be proud of that accomplishment and realize that there are people out there that are ultimately going to get the job over be because they have a bit more professional experience. That’s totally alright. I’ve done way too much and worked far too hard to not think I’m amazing.
Keep busy and keep motivated
For me, if I am just sitting around doing nothing, then I start to dwell on it all. I think that the best thing that you can do is keep busy and keep applying for other positions. You never know what could come up. Go take a yoga class. Go hang out with friends. I just bought an unlimited yoga and pilates membership and until I get a job, I plan on trying to attempt new personal health goals. Set different goals that don’t have anything to do with your career, but still keep motivated and searching for what might be a better fit for you.
How the people in your life can support you
I’m not at the point where I want to talk about it. I’m a very independent person and therefore I like to deal with things like this on my own time. Please don’t try to tell me that something better will come along….I know that. Please don’t try to help me cope or try to talk about it because I really don’t want to. I’m not heartbroken or anything, but when something doesn’t happen for me, I don’t like to dwell on it. This is something that many people around you don’t realize when you’re facing rejection of any kind. So if anyone reading this knows anyone else going through this, please be conscious.
All in all, rejection can be hard, but it’s not something that you should dwell on. When one door closes another one opens. It might not open immediately, but something better will come. Whether you take several different opportunities that might not seem like good fits along the way, think of it like you’re building up to that something better.